Sex After 40

There’s no doubt about it, small (and sometimes large) children can put a damper on a woman’s sexual desire. The exhaustion factor is there quite often. There can be some resentment about the division of labor in the household. Hormonal changes can occur. Breastfeeding keeps prolactin in a woman’s body and that suppresses sexual desire.

The level of intimacy in the marriage generally goes up when children arrive. Sometimes that level is too high. All the issues that must be handled when children are part of the picture can overload a couple’s ability to be connected romantically.

I have found that most couples don’t begin to get back to anything that resembles their earlier sexual relationship until the youngest in the house is three. Until that time, most couples have less energy for sex. That’s the nature of raising little children if you’re doing the parenting instead of a nanny.

In my opinion, that’s where “dating” comes in. Pick a Saturday night for a date. Get a sitter. Make sure that you get a nap that afternoon (that’s your husband’s duty to assure). Then, go out for dinner and some time for emotional connection between you as adults. The sitter puts the baby to sleep and you come home as soon as the coast is clear. That’s your time to have some sex that isn’t hurried or sleepy.

Put those “dates” on the calendar as often as you feel is appropriate. Your husband then has at least that to anticipate. You feel less pressured on the other days. [Source]